Nerd Dating: Dealing with Rejection Pt2 Things to not do

OK, a week of friends, family, and holiday cheer has gotten me over being rejected last week and, like a Superball dropped off the Empire State Building I have bounced back.  However, while my motivations for starting this subject may have been suspect, I still believe this is both relevant and useful (not to mention funny) and will continue with it.  Tonight we start a list of things to specifically NOT do after getting rejected.

1.  Do not get a tattoo or body piercing in some painful spot. I can’t stress this one enough.  Not that I have an issue with tattoos or piercings, having had several over the years myself.  However, the decision to get one and, more importantly, what to get and where on your body,  should be made with a clear head, not while wallowing in the depths of  despair.  You will probably end up with a tattoo of Edgar Allen Poe on your ass, and this is the kind of mistake you can make that will haunt you for quite a while.

2.  Do not pick fights with random guys in bars. True, you have just had your manhood more or less kicked in the nads, but drunken violence against strangers has about a 15% chance of helping you recover your machismo and an 85% chance of you getting your ass kicked.  It’s surprising how often guys who look kind of whimpy through an alcoholic fog turn out to be kind of tough, or have a bunch of friends hanging around looking for the chance to beat the hell out of something.  Also, there is a distinct chance you are just looking for a way to hurt yourself and drunkenly decided the toughest looking guy is the way to do that.  However, you have no control of how much pain he will bring to the table.

3.  In general, do not do anything that you can say “This will show her.” Trust me, you have already blown it.  There isn’t enough hang gliding, skateboarding, or other dangerous, macho stuff you can do to convince her she needs to see you naked again.  Don’t quit your job by yelling at your boss (or buying a gun and shooting up you work place).  Don’t join some cult.  Don’t make any huge changes to your lifestyle until your head is clear.

4.  Don’t inundate her with attempts to contact. There is a very fine line between infatuation and stalking, and once she has rejected you that line becomes so thin you couldn’t see it with an electron microscope.  Trust me, even a single text or email will start her looking at getting a restraining order.  The best you can hope for is to run into her randomly at some point and have a really awkward conversation.  However, trying to arrange this “random” meeting is pretty much the definition of stalking.  Give it up.

5.  Don’t find some other girl you are attracted to and bitch to her about the girl who just dumped you in hopes of getting some sympathy (cough cough pity cough cough) love. Friends are a great resource and should be willing to suffer through your tribes and tribulations, but if there is a girl you have always had a thing for don’t bitch to here in secret hopes that she will sleep with you.  She never will.  You will look and sound like one of her girl friends in both demeanor and gender.  Also, if some time down the road the new girl does want to hook up with you she will be forever haunted by the ghost of girlfriend past.

For the most part, avoid anything that is dramatic and/or potentially self destructive.  Next post I will talk about thinks you SHOULD do after being rejected.

As for the question of Pee Wee Herman versus Sgt. Shultz, I think as comedic as Shultz is he does have military training and access to automatic weapons.  I think it would go to him.  Not my best question, in my opinion, but I was in a hurry.

Today’s question, I think, is better thought out.  Uber annoying limited meta-morphs the Wonder Twins from the JLA verses super creepy heavy Witchiepoo from drug inspired H.R. Pufnstuf.  (JLA image courtesy of the Superman t shirts).

By the way, in case you were wondering, Witchiepoo’s full name Wilhelmina W. Witchiepoo.  WWW???  To bad, Al Gore.  Looks like we found the real inventor of the internet.  Her very cool vehicle was aptly named the Vroom Broom.  She also had a henchman named Stupid Bat.  I have to give her props for that.  It is a evil super villain cliche that the henchmen all be of less than average intelligence, but to employ one who has the word Stupid in his name speaks of a commitment to the stereotype that is beyond the pale.

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