Movie review: Your Highness

So it’s been kind of hell for the last few weeks, with the show and the move and all sorts of other stuff piling up like you wouldn’t believe, so I decided what I needed to do was unwind a little with a movie that would make me laugh.  I have heard a lot about Your Highness on the Howard Stern Show and figured it would probably fit the bill, so I called a friend and we hit the theater.

The movie did not disappoint at all.  I laughed my ass off continuously.  Really funny and well written.

The story is of Thadius, the libertine nere-do-well younger son of the king (played by Danny McBride of Eastbound and Down.  EB&D image courtesy of the television t shirt category) who spends his time drinking, whoring, and getting high and his older brother Fabius (played by Hollywood pretty boy James Franco) who is brave, noble, and in all ways a better than Thadius.  Fabius has his bride kidnapped by an evil warlock name Leezar who plans to impregnate her with a dragon.  In order to kill Leezar they need to find a magic sword.  Along the way they are joined by the majorly hot Natalie Portman (her screen name is Isabel, but I have a hard time paying attention to the details whenever she is on the screen, if you know what I mean).  Medieval(-ish) adventure hijinx ensue.  Monsters are killed, Thadius comes to grips with his manhood (in more than one way), and a feast of fish sticks is consumed.  The script is rife with sleazy puns and double entendres that all seem hilarious in spite of being incredibly juvenile.

First the stars.  The movie is hilarious.  Two stars.  Natalie Portman.  One star.  Natalie Portman showing a thong rear shot.  Two stars (although I heard an ugly rumor that they used a body double for this, in which case reduce it to one star).  Every single character, even superstar pretty boy Fabius, is funny and engaging.  One star.  Leezar is great as a super villain.  One star.  A couple scenes with some extremely gratuitous nudity.  One star.   Overall extremely well written.  One star.  Total: nine stars.

Now the black holes.  Kind of mediocre special effects and CGI (although really, you shouldn’t be here for these things).  One black hole.  The humor overall is really funny, but after a while it feels like they are beating the homoerotic jokes into the ground.  One black hole.  I really could have done without the whole minotaur genitalia running joke.  One black hole.  Total: three black holes.

So a grand total of six black holes, which is a very good score from me for a comedy.  This movie is a great second or third date movie, as it will get her thinking about sex without you looking like a total pervert.  I think you should definitely see it in a theater if you can, but this movie will also be a great addition to a DvD movie collection as it is exactly the thing to watch if you just want to throw something funny on that doesn’t require a lot of thought.

That’s it.  Short this week but I still have about a million hours of work to do.  I’ll try to stretch things out tomorrow.

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