A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: How to start talking to them Part 6
Sorry I have not posted more recently, but I spent all Memorial Day weekend working at a gaming convention, selling shirts. Our best seller was probably this Steam Punk shirt from our novelty t shirt section.
Anyway, I am about to impart one of the most important rules I ever learned regarding talking to girls at a party, event, or bar: the Two Minute rule. This was taught to me by an old friend of mine who, in spite of being super skinny and weird looking (think a flesh colored Kermit the Frog) used to draw women in like you wouldn’t believe.
Rather than just toss the rule out there, let me set the context. There is a huge mistake guys in general and nerd guys in particular make (I used to make it incessantly) and that is, we get to a party, start talking to a girl, and up talking to her exclusively all night long without actually getting her phone number. This works mainly because most (yes, I am sure any women reading this out there are exceptions to this generalization. Don’t hate spam me) women enjoy (and some crave) attention from guys. They will therefore happily talk to you all night long, boring you with stories about their cat(s) and some lame friend of theirs. However, remember that whole “familiarity breeds contempt” concept. By the end of the night she more or less has satisfied her modest desire to be paid attention too by you and is ready to move on to the guy who has been blowing her off all night. Also, truth be told, most bars and parties are pretty damned boring so listening to you is slightly more stimulating than doing nothing, and most women are too polite to really blow you off (typically they will go to the restroom and sneak out the back if you really are locked on).
Thus we come to the Two Minute rule. If you start talking to a women in any kind of public setting (party, bus stop, concert, etc) and, after two minutes of your best wit and wisdom, are not getting a positive response, look her in the eye, tell her “Nice to meet you” and move on.
Incidentally, a “positive response” is not her answering your questions but rather actually engaging in a conversation, asking you questions and initiating new subjects.
This works on many, many levels. The first is the fact that there is more than one (cuttle) fish in the sea, or even at whatever thing you are attending. If you spend all night talking to some chick who blows you off you might be missing the entirely cool, hot, and compatible chick 20 feet away.
The second level is, you have to adopt an attitude that your time is valuable. If you spend two hours listening to some girl bitch about her job then you have proven to her your time is worthless. You have other things you could be doing, including talking to other women, and can’t spend all night listening to random crap.
Finally, at some point you are going to run out of funny, cool things to say and the conversation will falter. You don’t want to fire off all your ammo the first time you meet her. Save some for the first date.
Now, I have had guys ask me what if she is actually into me but I didn’t actually pick up on it? The magic part is, if she actually liked you and you blew her off she will like you even more, and will resurface in your face later on. At that point you should definitely engage here and go for the number.
Next post will be on actually getting the number from her at the end of your witty flirting. That’s it for today.